I had a first draft of this post, in which I bitched about getting older and everything that goes along with it. When I re-read it, it seemed like a plot outline for an episode of Girls. Truthfully, I might be having some growing pains: much lower alcohol tolerance; inability to operate on little-to-know sleep; bills piling up faster than I can make money; but it could be worse. I could be 20 again.
I turned to old faithful… my Twitter archive (which is thankfully only on my hard drive and no longer on the interwebs). Unfortunately (or fortunately), my early 20s synced up with the launch of Twitter. Literally, the Twitterverse became a thing when I was 20 years old. I sat down with a beer and hand-picked the absolute best tweets from my early 20s to show you (really to show myself), that some things get better with age.
I still eat food that might be bad, though.
1) I was irresponsible!
Guess what? I didn’t forget. Being irresponsible is a theme prevalent in most of these tweets. Because I was in my early 20s. Also, typing in all lowercase is very 2002.
2) This was an acceptable form of “cooking.”
This tweet was preceded by one that said, “Making rice krispy treats!” Even looking back I thought I had been baking… or was I baked? Seriously?
3) I live-tweeted my train rides!
And not very well, I might add. I’m sure everyone really cared. Honorable mention goes to the time I tweeted that “men in suits turned me on, which was why I loved taking the Express to Penn Station.”
4) I was an after-school special waiting to happen.
At least everything was spelled right. Aside from the slang.
5) I was a liability to my friends!
This one is actually pretty funny, to be honest. As was recounted to me later on, I actually succeeded in taking the chicken tenders. I should be glad drinking makes me so sick now!
6) I Live-tweeted breakups.
This sounds a lot like the last time I drank too much Gin. I know… this one’s bad, it was less than two years ago.
7) I sent texts to Twitter
Remember back in the old days before smart phones when Twitter gave you a number to send tweets via SMS? Remember when you texted your friends and later realized you accidentally tweeted? Normal people deleted those. I probably thought it was cute.
8) This still happens.
9) Tweets that made no sense out of context.
Although it’s possible that this was also another “accidental” tweet, I’m sure this is from the time I left my BlackBerry at the Cold Stone down the street from my apartment.
10) I don’t even know.
I gasped when I saw this one. AIM? Buddy List? PC vs. Mac? Truly one for the books. I was 21.
So there you have it. I might be having a tough transition to being closer to 30 than 20, but at least I know how to internalize my thoughts now. If you have any gems to share, please do so.